There's an old saying that sometimes life throws you a curveball.
I'm currently facing a knuckleball with a 3-2 count. Bases loaded. Bottom 9th. Game 7. World Series.
Haven't blogged in awhile, my apologies for that. Had some stuff going on. Or I slacked. Whatever you'd like to take an excuse is fine with me.
I've let a lot of people down. People that loved me. That welcomed me into their family. Their homes. Their lives.
To state the obvious, it's not a good feeling.
There are changes that I need to make to my life. Changes that should have taken place a long time ago.
I should have realized a long time ago the changes I needed to make in order to share my life with another person. I needed to stop being selfish. I needed to not think of myself all the time. I needed to adapt to the other person in my life. I needed to work at maintaining a relationship with the woman that was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
And most of all, I needed to open up.
All my life, I've always internalized my feelings. Every once in awhile, I'd open up to friends, close family, or my wife. Every once in awhile.
Not good enough.
It would be about anything; things at work, personal stuff etc.
Not good enough.
I need to be more open to those that are close to me, and my wife is #1 on that list by a mile.
She deserves that, and a whole lot more.
I don't really have a good excuse for acting the way I do.....I've never liked confrontation, maybe that's part of it. I need to change.
I've been given so much love in my life, and it's time to give some back.
I HATE the fact that recent events have led to me effectively pulling my head out of my ass. HATE it.
I should have realized this earlier. I have no excuses for not doing so.
I need to change.
I WILL change.
